So, Thursday was a long day. But for the first time in a LONG time, I felt like myself again. I didn't even realize how lost I had become. I actually spent the day with my friends. What a concept huh? I had become so secluded in my hurt and my drama that I was embarrassed to spend time with the people who mean the most to me. I realized something very important about myself... I am great at emailing, I am great at myspacing, I love to keep up my now 3 web sites, and I love my ALONE time!!! I have become a total introvert! What the heck? This from the girl who was Ms. Extrovert in high school and involved in everything! Ms. I have tons of friends in college and spend all of my time out and about, Ms. I did youth ministry for 5 1/2 years and loved every second of it...Now, I have just wanted to be alone. Hmmm... (Deep thoughts at 4:30am, gotta love em') What has changed in me? Why am I so different now? I don't think it is necessarily bad, but definitely different!
So, last night, I was home by myself because my husband works 13 hour days on Thursdays, so after watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition- After the Storm, and shedding many tears over the newly re-built little league field that was destroyed by Hurricane Wilma, I decided to turn off the TV (What a concept?!?)
I went to my stacks of boxes of books that now lay with dust all over them from when I had an office and worked in the church. I knew what I needed to do... I pulled out the compilation of short writings by Mike Yaconelli. If you don't know who he is, He is one of the most passionate, crazy, real Christ followers I have ever met! Unfortunately, he tragically passed away in a car accident a few years ago. So, I started reading...It was like my heart caught on fire again! I didn't realize how dark and dusty it had become. I LOVE GOD! I LOVE HIS CHURCH! And, I have a deep passion to remind the church of how God intended it to be. No more Corporate church! That makes me sick! We need Jesus! We want Jesus! We are desperate for Jesus! Screw all the programs, Screw all the hipe and the professional look and feel of polished productions! We NEED Jesus! We WANT Jesus! We are DESPERATE for Jesus! I NEED Jesus! I WANT Jesus, I am desperate for JESUS!
If you like me have a passion for church change! Please don't let that fire be extinguished! Let's talk and share with one another and keep praying for the revolution! We are the ones we have been waiting for!
May God use our generation to change the world, maybe one last time!
More thoughts to come at a normal hour of the day. Thanks for reading!
Kristi
2 comments:
I don't know if you have ever listended to Jeff Deyo's "Saturate" CD but there is a little excerpt that he says after one of his songs. It is such a desire for my heart to Want to Want Jesus (if that makes sense).
~Satisfied In Him Alone~
We've got to get to the point in our lives
where we actually believe that God
and His desires for us are truly the things
that are going to make us the happiest,
give us the most peace and satisfy our
souls deeply.
We talk about this and we know in our minds
that it's true, but somehow these beliefs-
they don't make their way into our everyday
lives. If they did- wouldn't we be different,
wouldn't we act different, wouldn't we talk
different?
I don't think it's because we don't want to be happy,
or we try to sabotage our own lives.
Maybe we just don't REALLY trust God.
We've got to decide that no matter what the
cost, we want to be satisfied in God alone-
in Him alone.
Aren't you tired of reading your bible
because you feel you have to?
I want to WANT to love Jesus. I want to long
to spend time with Him. I want to get up in
the morning and can't wait to be with Him.
Anything in my life that is more important,
more exciting and more valuable to me than
God- that thing is an idol. I don't want it to
be like that. I want to be like John Piper said in
"The Pleasures Of God" :
"God is most glorified in us
when we are most satisfied in Him."
I want God to be glorified so I want to see
what I can do to be most satisfied in Him.
~Jeff Deyo~
(from the "Saturate" C.D.)
Hey Kris-
Good to see you back on your "A" game mixing it up, sharing your heart.
I will try and be a part of these blogs if I can "ecape the corporate machine" I work at. haha- kidding. Miss you up here.
I actually love the big church, always have. Hopefully I can bring a fresh perspective. If you could have been there 2 Sundaya ago you would have cried. Trent shrunk our congregation in incredible ways. It was the most vulnerable moment I have ever had there. He took a large church and made it feel like a community and it has had a huge impact on the staff and congregation.
There is always life when the word of God is spoke in humility, truth, and vulnerability...no matter how shiny the instruments, how large the choir, or how polished the program.
jeff
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