True Church

Written on Thursday October 5th:
Today is the beginning of a new season in my life. Take your seats everyone, I was a part of a gathering of the church tonight that I loved! No, not in the superficial way you might think like good music, cool lighting, relevant teaching and free coffee. A gathering of real people who brought their real lives to worship the real God.

I have to admit that I was terrified to even attend such a gathering. I was nervous all day. I was concerned about what people would think of me, and there is honestly a conscious wall that I have put around my heart in regards to "church stuff", in order to protect my heart from more hurt. (Yes, I know what you are thinking...Therapy is good! You are right! I already go!)

I went through all of the 1st time visitor scenarios in my head... What if I am the only one who shows up? What if I have to sit all by myself? What happens if I say something stupid? What happens if I am dressed inappropriately for this particular church environment? What if there is no one there who thinks about church like I do?

I prayed all the way to the church (an hour drive). I have felt for weeks as though God is wanting to do something unique in my heart. I ended up arriving near the church gathering 1/2 an hour early (traffic was good for a change) This particular gathering takes place in Arvada. Immediately, I realized that I was only 5 minutes or so away from my friend Krissy's grave site. I have not been there in years. (she was my college roommate/friend who died un-expectantly in 2002.) I drove over and pulled into Mount Olivet Cemetery. I passed the section of the cemetery where the babies are buried and my heart really opened up to hear God's voice. I parked, and walked across the field towards her grave. She is buried next to 2 of the victims of the Columbine High School Shootings. My thoughts raced back in time to the last few months of her life. I remember her transformation as she met Christ for the first time. I remember her amazing smile and the joy that God brought to her life in those final months. I remembered how we would sit and talk about our new found faith and how we always wanted to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. I remembered one of the last nights I spent with her as we worshipped together and took Communion at a special gathering of The Next Level Church. I walked up to her grave, and for the first time since her death felt an incredible peace. God is good! The Fall leaves were brilliant in color and the breeze a perfect effect for the moment. I feel as though I met God in that graveyard. He wanted me to remember.

I quickly left in order to be on time to this gathering. As I pulled in front of Westwoods Community Church, It struck me that this was the last place that Krissy and I had worshipped together before her death. TNL used to meet in this building. The pieces were falling into place. I walked in the door and one of my 1st time visitor scenarios came true...I was the first and only one there. I felt somewhat awkward, but didn't care. It was obvious to me that I was here for a reason, and I was!

As people gathered, I was overcome with emotion as I realized that this group of people were just like me. I met a guy named Brandon who was so nice and genuine, we talked and I realized that he is not really part of any church, but loves God and was invited to this study. Then, I met Karen who goes to Scum of the Earth Church. Others trickled into the room, including a lady who was severely disabled, a 2 year old, and many older folks among the 20 something crowd. It was an inter generational gathering of a diverse group of people who had one thing in common, Jesus. It was a beautiful picture of the church as it should be. I felt completely comfortable to be myself, it was not about image at all, and most importantly, it did not matter what you thought about God or church, it was made abundantly clear that we are all on the journey to know God more, and that is enough. No one was pretending to be perfect or have it all together. Even the teacher was upfront about his struggles and his lack of "seminary" training. In my opinion, it was a snapshot of what God intended the church to be. Although there were 40 of us, we were able to interact with one another and God's Word in a profound way.

God spoke directly to my heart... this could have been a perfect opportunity for me to judge others and judge the church, but it was so different, so real. I fell in love with the church all over again. I am so looking forward to continuing to get to know this group of people and the book of 1 Peter. There is hope! Community is so important, sometimes you just have to wait and let God lead you to where it is you are meant to be. Don't give up!