Year In Review

2005 is drawing to a close, and what a year it has been! If you are anything like me, I am thrilled for the opportunity of a new year. 2005 has been filled with so much tragedy and so much pain. It is almost overwhelming! From the Tsunami, to the hurricanes, to the earthquakes and to so much personal tragedy in so many lives, it feels as though it has just been one thing after another. If you are interested in hearing a good message about 2005 Fatigue, log on to www.tnl.org and click on the Tuesday link and scroll down to listen to last week's message. "Fatigue" by Dave Terpstra.

I pray that 2006 is a year of rest and peace for the world and for all of you. May this be a new beginning for us all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Kristi

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I Hope you have the most wonderful, awe-filled and blessed Christmas. May we rejoice together as we remember the birth of our Savior! I am reminded today of my great need for our Savior! As we worship together today, may the Lord be high and lifted up! May all we do, say, sing and think glorify His name! May we be a generation who is sold out for His renown!
Merry Christmas!!
Kristi

Frantic Christmas

I just got home from attempting to go Christmas shopping. Between the honking, pushing, cussing and flipping people off for a parking space, came the beautiful melody of O Holy Night.... Christ is the Lord. What on earth is wrong with our culture? People are running around like complete idiots, pissed off at the world, while charging lavish gifts that they cannot afford. Yes, it is so evident... Jesus is the reason for the season? (Ha ha ha) It grieves me that Christmas has been lost and replaced with angry, rushed, stressed, debt filled chaos. I don't know about you, but it makes me want to stay home and not even participate in the insanity.

Merry Christmas! (or should I say Happy Holidays, I wouldn't want to offend anyone)

Grateful

Thank you to the many wonderful friends who are praying for me and my husband. We could not get through this storm without our community. I am really learning what it means to live life together. I am thankful for the opportunity to be real and honest about my life and to still be loved and cared for by so many! All I can say is I am grateful!

I need words

I need words as wide as the sky
I need a language as large as this longing inside
I need a voice bigger than mine
I need a song to sing You, that I've yet to find
I need You
I need You
I need You
I need You
To be here now
To be here now
To hear me now
To hear me know

My black cloud has turned into a hurricane, and I don't know if I will survive!

Yes, I follow Christ, and I said shit on my blog!

God is in the shit

So, the black cloud has burst. My life has completely changed in the last 2 weeks. I am no longer going to work in the church. I have to say that I am hurt and I am angry. Why am I so different from the average always happy Christian? The church has got to be the most fake place I have ever been a part of. What makes us think that we all need to be perfect and have it all together? Where did we go wrong? We are supposed to be the communities that walk life with each other. Not the ones that hide who we really are from each other and the rest of the world!

I am no longer going to work in the church, because I was honest about the black cloud in my life. And of course, "if I don't have everything together, then there is NO WAY I should ever be allowed to lead others." Well, I think that is a load of CRAP!

I am different than the others. I am real about my life, and right now, my life is not great. There is shit that continues to fly at me daily, and I need the people in my life to know where I am and walk through this season of life with me.

You know, the funny thing is that I believe with all of my heart that we find God and get to know Him more in the midst of our shit. When we have nothing or no one else to lean on, He is there. I believe that He cares about our pain, my pain.

I am struck by the fact that God knows what it means to suffer. He knows what it means to be hated, to be judged, to be an outcast, to not be understood, to be wrongly accused, to have people that He loves betray Him, and to ultimately be killed.

Sometimes I forget that He knows and He cares.

I can only hope and pray that maybe someday the communities that call themselves followers of Christ will actually admit that they suffer with Christ. Maybe someday, we can accept that we are all screwed up and hurting and that we are all desperate for Christ. Maybe, just maybe we will get over our arrogance and pride and be real about who we really are.

Black Cloud

People always talk about a grey cloud that follows them around. Well, I am fortunate enough to be able to call mine a black cloud. I am really starting to comprehend the "Suffering with Christ" concept. Don't you wonder sometimes why God allows his people to suffer so much? How do we respond in these types of situations? Yesterday I had the thought that God must be trying to kill me. Then my husband reminded me, that is God wanted to kill me, He would not fail in His attempt.

You know when little kids play the poking game? They just keep poking you until you want to beat them. Well, that is the best analogy I can come up with today for my days of black clouds. I feel like God is poking on every area of my life, and eventually, I might go crazy!

The question I can't seem to answer in all of this madness is... how on earth to I respond to all of this crap that keeps flying my way? What do I even pray for at this point? How do I grow through this? How do I even survive this? I understood that following Christ would not be easy, but the hurricane that has become my life is way too overwhelming. Lord, please help me!