The Difference... part 2

I thought that I was overwhelmed by my surrounding circumstances last week. Today, I find myself just weeping over the sadness of the world. I can not even explain how thankful I am to know God and be in a relationship with him. I can not even fathom life without him.

With today comes a new outlook on the gift of life, the gift of breath. Last night, I was able to sit with a fellow brother in Christ as he took his last breath. I heard the words of his family as they said goodbye and prayed for his entry into Heaven. I witnessed the human body fighting to hang on to life. I experienced Jesus in that ER room like I never have before. God is good. He is so gracious. My heart hurts and grieves for my friends, as they lost their loving father way too soon. Yet, a strange peace descended while watching a mortal life slip away and an eternal one begin. There are just no words.

This week has brought so much tragedy and hurt to my doorstep. I am so thankful that God can use me in my brokenness. However, my heart has had about all it can take this week.

I was able to re-connect with the young woman from my previous blog entry who is involved in a horribly abusive relationship. God had me in the right place at the right time again as I witnessed another domestic fight. I was able to bring this young woman to my home and sit and talk with her. I was able to listen and love her right where she was. She is so different from me in so many ways, yet so similar in many others. I did my best to share the hope of Christ with her. I did my best to stand up for the sanctity of life. Although I left that evening feeling defeated by the enemy, I am thankful I had the opportunity.

How does life get so messed up and out of control? Why does God allow people to hurt so deeply. How do I as His follower make a difference and take care of these people He brings into my life. I pray that God would continue to give me an enormous heart of mercy, and that He would equip me with the strength and the tools I need to serve those He brings my way.

Death is such a conflicting thing when you follow Christ. It is so very tragic and sad, while at the same time the best thing that can happen to a person. I am exhausted, conflicted, confused and sad today. But I am forever grateful for Him who has made all of the difference in my life.

Lenten Pilgrimage

The community I am a part of is going on a journey for the next 40 days. We are calling it the Lenten Pilgrimage. I am very humbled and excited to be a part of it. For the next 40 days we will be creating space in our lives for God. Please join us for the online part of the journey. I will be blogging at www.lentenpilgrimage.blogspot.com.

The Difference...

Lately, things around me have just seemed strange. Every circumstance I seem to find myself in is something that is terribly difficult for me to understand. From my previous blog about being cursed to hell for helping my neighbor, to all of this horrible talk about Pastor Ted, to the precious teenage life that was ended this week by suicide, to yesterday when I found myself in the midst of domestic violence in its worst form. As I drove the beat up girlfriend to a safe place, I was overcome with emotion and deep sadness as she told me about the reality that is her life.

She is pregnant. She is abused. She is locked at home, away from the outside world. Her mother is dying of stage 4 breast cancer and has lost her home to medical debt. She is spending her last days on earth living by herself in her car. Now, this girl wants an abortion, because she is broke, homeless and the father of her baby has a scary, violent personality. Sometimes, there are just no words. I hope that I did my best to tell this girl that she matters, that she is loved and that at least someone in the world cares about her well being.

I have continued to battle this theological debate in my head. Why I am so different. Why do I feel like an outcast? Why do I feel so hurt and upset by the state of the world around me?

Then, as I was putting on my makeup this morning and preparing my heart to worship, this simple revelation flooded my soul...

Glenn Packiam
Copyright 2006 Vertical Worship Songs:

"I am not the same
Everything's been different since the day
You came into my life

You will never change
You'll always be the Truth the Life the Way
You came into my life

Jesus you are the difference in my life
A joy I cannot hide
Savior, I'll show the world what You have done
And all that I've become
I'm not the same"

It sounds so elementary, so simple. But today I truly gained an understanding about who Christ is in my life, and that I am filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit. I am different. I am not the same. Thank God!

My heart beats for my generation today. May we be passionate followers of Christ who live differently and lead those around us to their Savior!

I am an Alien

1 Peter 2:11

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul."

This morning as I was leaving for work, a man from my complex pulled out in front of me and I noticed that he had a completely flat tire. He obviously did not notice, and was driving full speed ahead on his rim. I began honking and waving. At the first stop light, I pulled up next to him and honked again. He rolled down his window, and I was able to tell him to pull over. While I was telling him about his tire, the light turned green. Obviously, I did not go immediately. After about 2 seconds of the light being green I was honked at, flipped off with both hands and told to go to hell! The man I helped thanked me, and I was on my way only seconds after the light had turned green. The guy behind me continued to swear at me as he sped around me. His wife joined in the Kristi bashing as well.

All I did was try to help a fellow citizen so he would not ruin his car. And, I get cursed to hell in return. I cannot imagine driving around and being that angry all the time. What a terrible way to live your life. I don't know why I am so different. That verse from 1 Peter really stands out to me this week. I am a stranger and an alien. The Holy Spirit in me has changed my life completely. I just don't feel like I belong.

I responded to the angry driver by smiling and praying for him. I am sure that made him even more mad.

Good times in the sweetheart city :) TGIF

Everlasting God

The voice of a child is precious in and of itself. Yet, when you are able to witness a child worshipping their Maker, that is a unique experience not soon forgotten! I was privileged to be a part of last nights worship experience with Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and Louie Giglio. If I have not said it in a while, I LOVE those guys, their hearts and their ministry! Passion






















Louie gave the most beautiful, inspiring message about How Great our God truly is! Chris followed that message with an acoustic version of his new song "Everlasting God." The little boy behind me was fully engaged in the moment, and shouted in his best singing voice a line from the chorus... "You are the Everlasting God..." My heart melted along with all of those around me. There is just something so special about a child declaring the name of God. It was so powerful! For me, children are the best worship leaders! I cry every time the kids choirs lead worship. It is beyond precious! I am reminded of God's call on our lives as His followers from Matthew 18...

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Last night was a beautiful and descriptive picture of what the body of Christ should be. I was honored to stand with fellow Christ Followers and worship the God of all creation! How Great is Our God!!!

Check out these great sites...

www.christomlin.com
www.worshipfrequency.com
www.268generation.com