2006- The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

My personal look back at 2006...

Here I sit. 9:34pm on December 31, 2006. Less than 3 hours left in this year. It feels like it has gone by so fast, yet in reality, this year has included so much crap, it is hard to believe that it is just now the New Year.

I know we all have hopes that 2007 will be a better year for us personally and for us collectively. Yet, this year, my desire for change in the New Year seems to be greater than ever before. As I reflect back on 2006, I can still feel the scars on my heart from so many difficult and trying situations for me personally and around the world. Maybe it is just because I am getting older, but life continues to get harder. I don't want this to be a totally pessimistic response to this past year, as I have much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful, loving husband, a great family, a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat. Most importantly, I have a loving Savior who continues to pursue me and use me in spite of myself. He is more than enough!

As a Christ Follower, I look back over 2006 and it is difficult to see anything at all. I feel as though I have been in a deep valley trying to make my way through dense fog. Nothing makes sense to me. The year began as I left the only job I have ever loved. I know I am called to work with students and love them as Christ would. Yet, that does not seem to be the season I find myself in. The year continued as my husband and I moved north to be a part of a church plant. We felt so good about our decision to move, yet it has been one of the hardest things we have done together thus far. There are no words to describe leaving behind everything and everyone you love and venturing out in faith to start life over. The church is a beautiful expression of Christ to our city. It is by far one of the most unique communities we have seen. However, not once has this been what we expected, and not once has it been what we would call comfortable.

I am beginning to discover the humongous disconnect between the things that I want out of this world, and the things that God values in this world. They are night and day. Being a 27 year old, I am ready for the nice house, stable income,lots of insurance, cute little family with a nice car and my cute little dogs. Does anyone truly have those things? I am beginning to wonder.

What does Christ desire to see in my life this next year? It is such a blur to me. I do not understand, but at least I am asking.

My heart bears the scars of the deep sadness of war in our world, of not feeling like a part of God's church, of the downfall of trusted leaders and friends in my life. Life and death, health and suffering, wants vs. needs, accepting truth and dealing with its consequences.

2006 has been the worst year of my life health wise. I have learned the hard way how to slow down my life and be thankful for an hour of feeling good. I don't know that I would have learned these lessons any other way. For that I am grateful. I hold fear in my heart that 2007 will be the same, for even as I sit here and write these random thoughts, my headache rages on.

2 hours and counting...

God is good to me. He has never failed me! Yet, disappointment is the word I would use to describe this past year. I guess things never turn out the way that we would have them to. And, I know that is a good thing. Just hard to swallow sometimes.

My prayers for 2007 include...

-Direction and vision from God as to how to use my gifts to Glorify Him and serve His people.
-Protection for my amazing marriage
-To re-connect with friends far away. There is such a void in my life without them.
-Financial provision for my family
-Healing, comfort and restoration for Pastor Ted
-A wonderful, new leader for New Life Church
-Healing for my illness
-That I may be more like Christ everyday in 2007

I have a genuine hope that 2007 will bring a new song for me. One of celebration and praise. Please join me in praying for these things and for our generation, that we may be used by God to change the world! That people all over the world would come to know the hope that can only come from God, and that each one of us would find our strength in the joy of the Lord!

May we learn from 2006 and be equipped for 2007. Wishing all of you many blessings for the New Year!

-Kristi

The Wrong Place at the Right Time

For those who read my blog on occasion, I have been sick the past few weeks, and have missed writing. But a few Saturdays ago, I had quite the day, and I learned a lot, so I am going to share...

The day started out normal with me sitting in my office doing absolutely nothing (typical Saturday for me). In the distance I heard the faint sound of sirens and didn't think much of it until they came racing into the parking lot of my apartment complex. (I am the property manager for my complex) It is my responsibility to take care of our property and our residents, so naturally, I locked up the office quickly and ran to meet the emergency workers.

My first job when I moved to this new city was working at Hallmark (A nightmare in and of itself). But, while I was working there, I met this sweet lady named Sally. She came in almost every day I worked to buy chocolate. She and I would talk about life, friends, family and most of all her beloved cats. Sally was much older than me and was obviously very ill with some sort of disease. I never asked her about it, but I knew.

I explained to the EMT's who I was and asked what the problem was. As I walked around the corner, I saw Sally on the ground. I didn't even know she lived in my complex, but there she was, convulsing and throwing up blood in the hall. Thankfully, I remembered her name and held her hand as they loaded her onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. They whisked her off to the ER, and I thought for sure that she was going to die.

After the ambulance left, I noticed that they had left some of her personal belongings in the hall, along with a big bucket of blood. EWW!!! Those of you who know me, know that I don't deal well with that at all! Then, my mind started wondering why she was in the hall and not in her apartment? So, I walked back to my office, got the keys to her apartment and headed back over there to put her things in her apartment and dump the bucket of blood. I could not just leave it in the hall. :(

I turned the key to her apartment, and immediately her cat came running towards me. He seemed frantic. As I opened the door, I saw something I have never seen, and hope I will never see again. I have seen messy homes before, but there are no words to describe what I saw. It was the most rank, foul, horrible, terrible place I have ever seen. There was crap and trash and junk piled from floor to ceiling. It was very apparent that she has never once cleaned in the 4 years that she has lived there. I set her things on top of a pile, and went around the corner to dump the blood. I was taken aback by hundreds of empty bottles of alcohol. There was not even a path to walk. She didn't even have a bed. There were plants growing out of the sink, and there was no way to even get to the laundry room or kitchen. I freaked out! I couldn't believe it. So, I just set the bucket of blood on top of a pile and ran out of there. I was near tears as I realized that she lives in this filth and will not allow anyone into her life. I began wondering what illness she had, and why she would be drinking herself to death. One of our other staff members came into the office, and I was obviously upset. I told her the story, and she offered to go back in with me to dump the blood. We put on gloves and masks and held hands as we went in. YES, it was that bad! Our experience got worse from there as we attempted to go in the bathroom. I will spare you details.

Turns out, Sally has liver and stomach cancer. She survived and is back home. I have not gone to see her yet, nor have we confronted her about her apartment. But, I realized how important it is to smile at strangers and be polite and pleasant to everyone we meet. The relationship I built with her at Hallmark was more important than I knew. She is all alone. You never know what someones life is like. You never know the hurt and pain that live within that persons heart. I now pray for Sally each day, and hope that I get the chance to get to know her better before her death. I also learned that it is mandatory to clean my house well each week! :) ha ha ha.

After work that day, I jumped in the car and drove to Denver to see my husband and his band lead worship at a church down there. I was tired, shook up and not feeling well at all, but felt like I needed to go. The service was fine, nothing exciting, and I was feeling worse by the hour. So, I said my good byes and headed towards the car to drive home. There was a lady in a wheelchair sitting by the front door. I said hello and asked her if she had a ride home. She told me that RTD was supposed to pick her up and that they were late. I asked her if she wanted me to stay with her until they came. She said yes. Inspite of my health, I stayed. Her name was Cindy and she had a stroke when she was 30 years old. She has been paralyzed ever since. That was 20 years ago. She is the most incredible woman I have ever met. She lives in a nursing home and cannot get out of her wheelchair. She is the most positive and faithful person I have met. She is full of joy in the Lord. I was able to hear all about her life, her faith, her family and more. It turned out that RTD had totally forgotten her. So, 3 hours later and many phone calls to RTD and her nursing home, we got her back on her way. I learned more from her that night than I had in a long time. She truly considers it a joy to suffer like Christ. I was humbled that I even got the opportunity to hang out with such a woman.

It was obvious to me that God put me in those specific situations that day to teach me about my own life and my own pain. we get to choose how we handle lifes trials. Sally chooses to drink away her pain and loneliness. Cindy chooses to live life to the fullest and serve Christ with all that she has. I feel privileged to know both women, and I can only hope that I can be more like Cindy as I grow in my faith, and that I can be a light to Sally as she journey's towards death.

"May I never miss a sunset or a rainbow because I was sitting down!"

Thechurchyouknow.com

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Friggin' hilarious! And sadly, very true! I am still laughing!