My personal look back at 2006...
Here I sit. 9:34pm on December 31, 2006. Less than 3 hours left in this year. It feels like it has gone by so fast, yet in reality, this year has included so much crap, it is hard to believe that it is just now the New Year.
I know we all have hopes that 2007 will be a better year for us personally and for us collectively. Yet, this year, my desire for change in the New Year seems to be greater than ever before. As I reflect back on 2006, I can still feel the scars on my heart from so many difficult and trying situations for me personally and around the world. Maybe it is just because I am getting older, but life continues to get harder. I don't want this to be a totally pessimistic response to this past year, as I have much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful, loving husband, a great family, a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat. Most importantly, I have a loving Savior who continues to pursue me and use me in spite of myself. He is more than enough!
As a Christ Follower, I look back over 2006 and it is difficult to see anything at all. I feel as though I have been in a deep valley trying to make my way through dense fog. Nothing makes sense to me. The year began as I left the only job I have ever loved. I know I am called to work with students and love them as Christ would. Yet, that does not seem to be the season I find myself in. The year continued as my husband and I moved north to be a part of a church plant. We felt so good about our decision to move, yet it has been one of the hardest things we have done together thus far. There are no words to describe leaving behind everything and everyone you love and venturing out in faith to start life over. The church is a beautiful expression of Christ to our city. It is by far one of the most unique communities we have seen. However, not once has this been what we expected, and not once has it been what we would call comfortable.
I am beginning to discover the humongous disconnect between the things that I want out of this world, and the things that God values in this world. They are night and day. Being a 27 year old, I am ready for the nice house, stable income,lots of insurance, cute little family with a nice car and my cute little dogs. Does anyone truly have those things? I am beginning to wonder.
What does Christ desire to see in my life this next year? It is such a blur to me. I do not understand, but at least I am asking.
My heart bears the scars of the deep sadness of war in our world, of not feeling like a part of God's church, of the downfall of trusted leaders and friends in my life. Life and death, health and suffering, wants vs. needs, accepting truth and dealing with its consequences.
2006 has been the worst year of my life health wise. I have learned the hard way how to slow down my life and be thankful for an hour of feeling good. I don't know that I would have learned these lessons any other way. For that I am grateful. I hold fear in my heart that 2007 will be the same, for even as I sit here and write these random thoughts, my headache rages on.
2 hours and counting...
God is good to me. He has never failed me! Yet, disappointment is the word I would use to describe this past year. I guess things never turn out the way that we would have them to. And, I know that is a good thing. Just hard to swallow sometimes.
My prayers for 2007 include...
-Direction and vision from God as to how to use my gifts to Glorify Him and serve His people.
-Protection for my amazing marriage
-To re-connect with friends far away. There is such a void in my life without them.
-Financial provision for my family
-Healing, comfort and restoration for Pastor Ted
-A wonderful, new leader for New Life Church
-Healing for my illness
-That I may be more like Christ everyday in 2007
I have a genuine hope that 2007 will bring a new song for me. One of celebration and praise. Please join me in praying for these things and for our generation, that we may be used by God to change the world! That people all over the world would come to know the hope that can only come from God, and that each one of us would find our strength in the joy of the Lord!
May we learn from 2006 and be equipped for 2007. Wishing all of you many blessings for the New Year!
-Kristi
No comments:
Post a Comment